I hate how wishy washy or flaky I am when it comes with my future plans. I guess that's how it is for many people. If I'm able to get a job and save up dramatically in two/three months I'm just gonna peace it out of Banff. Just for the sake of my health, otherwise my anxiety will take over and a certain extent will die inside of me. Since after all I may not be able to go to Peru due to my braces. It sucks but oh well, it was never in my original plan.
As Branden mentioned, there's no use in bitching and complaining about being in Banff. Ya it helps alleviate some stress and angst. But it doesn't help whatsoever with the whole leaving Banff situation.
Hopefully things will start picking up here in town. I should probably change the objectives on my resume and start applying at places so I at least have a better chance of getting a job. Rather than sitting here complaining and waiting. Maybe this time I'll be able to get two jobs, and to pass time I would be taking piano lessons. Since I really want to learn how to play piano so that I can do Regina Spektor covers, along with other fun diddys.
Also on that hopeful note, I think it would be easier for me to move within the country rather than to a different country in a different continent.
PS. I hate how the one thing that I enjoyed most, sleeping, has been ruined by yours truly. Now I have pseudo-insomnia since I don't want to believe that I actually have it. I doubt I do. I hope I don't. I'll find out later I guess.
PPS. Another thing that's bothering me is that I make myself to do lists which I never finish in the time that I plan on finishing them. Now I have a new to do list, finishing the books that I've started reading but then stopped for whatever reason. Start reading the books my dad lent me about World Mythology, read about the Incas since I borrowed/stole some books from my mom. Read up on the philosophies of India, what their all about. On top of all of that read the misc. fictional books that I have. Also watch the DVD's about Yogism.
Art Corner ~
Hahaha, I feel so tacky doing that. Oh well.
My plans on making my sister her headband was a bust. Since I went over to the Dollar Store and all they had was shit ribbon. Kind of that thin ribbon that you would find with fake Christmas presents. So I'll have to wait to go into Canmore to try and find some or Calgary where I would have a better chance.
With my friends getting tattoos this past month I really want to get some. I have for awhile, but now I have envisioned my new tattoo. I've been planning on getting the Virgo symbol on the back of my neck but instead of just getting that, get the female sign and inside the circle get the symbol. I'll do a rough sketch of it once I get home later. On top of that I want a tattoo of the Eye of Horus, Udjat(sp?).
Also I want to start painting/sketching things that I want to paint or draw. I really hope I can motivate myself that way I can keep myself busy for a few weeks.
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